A Day in the Life of Me

The random thoughts of me....

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Friends come and go

Well Bloggers I haven't posted anything in FOREVER. I guess I've been too busy.. So many things happening in the life of me.. Writing is good for the mind.. so I really should have made time to write.. A lot has changed in my life in regards to friends and such. I find it so strange that things like that can change so much.. but hey it happens. My life turned into an emotional train wreck after my accident. So, I decided that there may have been underlying issues and it would be best for me to talk to a specialist. For the past few months I have been seeing a specialist once a week. I have been diagnosed with PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder.) I have had a bunch of traumatic events happen to me in the past few years and I guess my accident just pushed me over the edge. But now I'm learning how to deal with things much better and my life is a lot less stressful. I guess it is the combination of therapy and celexa.

Brian and I have started talking and hanging out again.... (he was my date to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball pictures are on my myspace page)and a few of my other friends have since stopped talking. Which leads me to my blog that I recently posted on myspace.

So I was with some friends last night and one of my friends was like.. Hey what ever happened to ____? I was like.. ooh yeah well for some reason we stopped talking.. I didn't really know the reason why but hey I'm not stressin about it.. They were like wow.. .you and _____ were attached to the hip.. Every time I would see you for like 2 months you were together. So it made me wonder.. How can someone be like your best friend.. and then just one day out of nowhere it all just ends like that.. If someone is truly your friend can they just drop you out of their life like that? One of the struggles of life is finding those people that you can really trust and really truly consider your friends. People come and go and it sucks.. but I guess that some people are just really not supposed to be your friend.

I guess I could say that recently this has happened more times then one.. but that was one that just really stood out in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I did something wrong? But then I think about it.. and well.. people are going to act the way they want to act. They are going to choose the friends they want to choose... and it is out of my control rather it is me they choose to have as their friend or not. And when that time comes that they decide they no longer want to be your friend..... you just have to keep moving on. You can't let those things stop you or hold you back. There are so many people in the world to get hung up on trying to keep those happy that really might not care about you. And if one day they decide that they made the wrong decision and they want to be your friend again.. you have to decide if you feel you can be hurt again by they way they might treat you, or you have to forgive and forget. But a true friend will be there whenever the other needs something.

It reminds me of a situation when I was back in high school.... My best friend and I did not speak to eachother for months... and I didn't really know why.. and then one day I was on my way to school and I got a flat tire on the highway. Next thing my best friend drives by and notices my car. So, she stopped and asked me what was wrong. She gave me a ride to school and from that day on we squashed our differences. In that situation it made me realize that she was really my friend.. because when I was in need she was there for me despite the fact that we didn't talk for such a long time.

anyway... time to do something productive today..

Well Bloggers I hope to have more posts coming this way... till next time.. Have a Blessed Day.


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