The Beginning of "A Day in the Life of Me"

I decided to start this whole blog thing. I figured it would be great for me to just put my thoughts out there to share with other people. I'm looking at it as a great way to express my thoughts however crazy or not so crazy they may be. I find that I am a very random person so you will find thoughts that are just all over the place.

So this post has been created due to the major change in the course of today's events. Today went from being a happy day thinking about someone that I felt was special to me, to having my hopes and dreams smashed through the floor. I have learned once again that men are nothing but trouble, and their whole purpose in life is to hurt women.

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So the story goes as this....

I met this guy via one of those stupid internet sites... he seems interesting, so I attempt to contact him. We exchange some information and then case closed.. So I am thinking to myself.. man this guy didn't give me a chance.. ooh a chase. I'm always down for a good chase.. because things in life that are easy are never worth it. So proceed to beg and plead for him to continue contacting me.

As time goes on he decides to keep sharing information. We then decide to exchange numbers and see if we can meet up. So I one night I get ready after a long day of work and we meet up at the wonderful Dupont Circle. Things seemed to be going well. I was excited he was cute, fun, and could almost drink as much as me. Despite the fact that were in a place that was totally different then what I was used to I had a great time. So since we hit it off so well we decided to stay in touch.

Well as the months go on.... things seem to be going well, no problems of any type (very common for when people first meet eachother) Many times of waking up in the morning and pretty much letting myself out of his house so I can get to work, and me waking up in the morning at my house and telling him to make sure the door is locked before he goes.. typical relationship type things.. even though there was no talk ever of any such thing.

One day we decide that it will be fun to go on a little trip together. We plan this trip like a month in advance. I'm stoked.. he seems stoked... things couldn't be better. Then a few weeks after we plan the trip things get a little shaky for a little. We went out drinking one night.. I got really fucked up and woke up late for work and he thought I was mad at him... then work got crazy for him and we had a little disagreement.. but things seemed to work themselves out.

The time is drawing near for our little trip. I'm so excited because I finally get away from DC for a little and I get to see my brother, and spend a few days with the person I care about the most. The trip starts of well. We are having fun, getting drunk, doing things that people do on vacation. Then one day work just decided to show it's ugly face. Now I understand about work, because of my job. I understand that stuff comes up, and it's out of control sometimes. I'm accepting of it, it bothers me a little but hey, he is a busy man. The next day comes along and I spent the whole day surfing around on myspace while he did "work" all day. That really was not any fun at all. I was hating my vacation for that moment. So after he gets finished with his work we decide to take a little trip. We decided we were going to this casino. On the way there we got lost from google directions, and I almost killed us because I was paying attention to what was going on in my head and not the road. But we stayed alive. So we get to the place and he was like ok.. we need to talk.. then we sit down and talk a little and I feel the conversation went well and we ironed things out. The rest of the night was smooth and the next day for that matter. He was a little quite but I didn't think that the following events were ever going to happen..

We get back in town and I drop him off. I was like ok.. good night have fun at work, I'm going to go out with some friends to check out the local spot. I get home and decide I'm too tired and it's too late so I'm going to bed. We exchanged a few text messages and I called it a night. Then I get up and go to work.. The day goes like normal we were both busy didn't talk much and then at night before bed we exchanged a few more text messages and called it a night.

Then the evil day comes. I was feeling a little playful and sent the morning email "hey I hate you for making me be used to spending time with you because now I'm going through withdrawal" Maybe that was a little too much? So ge gets to work and we start sharing emails. He proceeds to tell me that he things that he needs to spend more time focusing on work and his friends so we should take a break.. So me being the person that I am take it as a f**k you I don't want to talk to you because something more important has come into my life. I took it as an attack to me personally. So we continue to email eachother and I pretty much explained how I ditched all of my friends and everybody because of him and now I'm left hanging in the cold. Any chance of having someone to call mine has been taken away because I focused all of my attention on him. I explained to him how I don't like when people lead you on and then just kick you off the side of a cliff to die. The last major thing said was me saying "when can I get the key to my house back" and we make arrangements. As I proceed to say a million times.. I wish you the best of luck and hope you have a nice life.

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now I'm not an emotional person at all. I was at my grandfather's funeral a little over a week ago and I did not shed a single tear. But because of this guy.. I'm sobbing like a little baby. Am I wrong for this? How could I let some guy have me so caught up. I'm angry, sad, and just confused. I find myself wondering what I did wrong, and how I can not let this happen again. I also find myself thinking that I would do anything for this guy and I really want him to come back. I know I do not have any business thinking that. Guys are not worth it. I guess it was just lust and hopefully I will bounce back quick. Maybe tonight I will be able to work on just forgetting him and not stressing anymore.

Well I have some things to do... So till next time.. Which I'm sure will be very soon..

have a Blessed Day.